moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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