Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
