THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I am available for nakedness
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
