I need help removing her.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
