I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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