i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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