the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
