I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
