The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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