"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
