I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
