why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
