It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
