i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
