yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
