the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
