Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
