You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
