as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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