i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
