You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
