WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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