For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
