it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
