I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
