do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
