Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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