It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
