I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
