I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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