I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
