I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
