you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
