Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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