After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My ATM looks so different sober.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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