i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
