i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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