like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
