So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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