come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
