Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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