Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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