No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
