i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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