you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
