Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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