Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There's always time for handjobs
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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