Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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