halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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