The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
