Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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