Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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