Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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