i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
