Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
