she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
