I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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