Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
