He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
