I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
