Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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