At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
