What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
