i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i was born a porn star she said
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
